Vasya goes to Mordorald

One day Vasya woke up in horror because he had a terrible dream. It seems that dad met someone from old acquaintances, and this very acquaintance desperately advised dad to send his son to a military school. And it seems like Vasya was going somewhere in shorts on a bus, and then there was such a demon that I don’t even want to remember. Vasya looked at the screen of his iPhone 3G (eight thirty-three), padded into the toilet, then into the bathroom, then got dressed and went out to the kitchen, from which came the "sweet" aroma of coffee.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen, fully prepared to finish his delicious last sips, grab his bag, get into the BMW X5 and get stuck in traffic. Dad said “Good morning” to Vasya somehow gloomily, as if Vasya interfered with dad's deep thoughts. Vasya said "Good morning" and began to tell his dad about his terrible dream. Vasya talked and laughed until he noticed that dad was not very cheerful. And dad really was not very cheerful, because he thought about how strong some otherworldly connection was with relatives. They sometimes, like dolphins, exchange their thoughts remotely, through almost imperceptible signals, and there is no way to escape from this. In general, dad interrupted Vasya and gave him a Speech. The speech was permeated with father's love, like a pig's leg with toothpicks, but if the pig's leg was delicious to eat with beer and cabbage, then papa's Speech made you want to sit down and cry.

So, Vasya was offered the following. Since dad had already made sure that the child entered a quality educational institution, dad offered Vasya to do work to ease dad's and mom's expenses. Dad spoke convincingly, and Vasya even at some point thought that everything would work out, he even said something like “Yes, I'm already getting a job, just about. ”, but dad interrupted him and said that he had found a job. “You, Vasya, are settled everywhere with us, and you won’t go to the army, your mother took care of it, and you’ll get a higher education, I’ll take care of that, but you haven’t seen life. You only play with your phones and sit at the computer. And, you and your friends are doing something there. Vasya, you need teamwork experience.”

In short, the dream was to some extent in hand, dad really met a friend, but not a military man, but the director of a branch of the MorDorald eatery chain. They sat very nicely in Muscat, ate well, even accepted some fire water for a meeting, dad began to talk about his son, that it would be nice to send him to the army, and the branch director said that work in a diner is much faster will bring him (son) to his senses, teach coordinated actions in a team, the ability to make decisions quickly, plus he will quickly understand what he is worth. Dad, as it were, gradually asked if he could help with the employment of his son, to which the director of the branch replied that he would be happy to help. Yes, and you don’t really need help, people are always needed, the network is growing due to the fact that there are not only inexpensive “ad-burgers” and “mordor-lunches” (“ad-burger”, “Lucifer-style potatoes” plus “nuclear- cola"), but also special free gothic-style bathrooms. Not only toilets, but even a bathroom and even a bidet. Dad asked, what position can his son get? The branch manager answered, dad smiled.

So, when Vasya heard about Mordorald, he got very angry. He told papa that he had seen such a place of work in a well-known place and that he had better go begging. He said that he and his buddies are trying to get a lot of Japanese phones for resale at a cheap price, and he wants to do this business. Vasya was still ready to say a lot, he had a lump in his throat, his eyes sparkled, but dad simply said: “Either, son, you are going to an interview at Mordorald, or I will put you in the service. Let me make your dreams come true. You can think for a day, and tomorrow I'll wait for you with a ready-made solution.

Vasya spent the day in a fuss. He and his friends really ordered a batch of Japanese Sharp, Sony Ericsson and Nec phones (ten pieces). They borrowed money from not very good people, borrowed a rather large amount for them for two weeks, counting on the fact that upon arrival they would be able to profitably sell the phones on the forums. Upon the arrival of the cargo, it turned out that not all phones were included in the kit with special “hypersims”. Plus, not all phones come with chargers. The phones were beautiful, they sparkled and shimmered in the sun, but only four of them worked normally, caught the network, you could call from them. For the rest, it was necessary to look for hypersim cards somewhere and so on. Vasya remembered how good the idea seemed to be to buy original, interesting models cheaply in Japan (about three hundred dollars per model) and sell them in Moscow for a high price - twenty thousand.Or at least nineteen. In general, they decided that for now it is possible to hang ads on all forums, and it will be seen there. And so, Vasya spent the day in a fuss, trying to sell to friends, acquaintances, on "humps" and "scoops" a couple of working devices. Alas, but these bold attempts of his ended in nothing. And he remembered how great it was to choose phones for ordering, and how he wanted to play with them, and he even thought that he could keep one of them for himself, because the money is splashes, we will find something to give. And not quite good friends who borrowed money from them, called daily and asked to repay the debt earlier. And they knew how things were going. And Vasya was scared, because on the "humps" and "scoops" the sellers gave a maximum of ten thousand for both devices, and then with a big, big stretch. Vasya understood that it was tobacco. He needed to return his share, a little over a thousand dollars. But Vasya did not have a thousand dollars. Vasya had an army or Mordorald in front. And two weeks were coming to an end very soon.

In general, the next morning, when they met with dad in the kitchen, Vasya asked him: “Dad, but those who went to the execution were supposed to have their last wish. So I wanted to know if I have the right to it? Dad asked for a start what he decided when he found out that it was Mordorald, dad told Vasya that he would fulfill almost any of his desires (except “May I not go to Mordorald”). Vasya sighed and told his dad about the idea with Japanese phones. Dad, having laughed, said that the market needs to be studied more carefully. Then he asked to bring all the "Japanese phones" to him, asked him to give the phone number of the people from whom they took money, and told Vasya the address and phone number of "MorDorald", where Vasya had to go.

And here Vasya was waiting for the manager in a small meeting room, the entrance to which was behind the MorDorald cash desk line. At exactly ten o'clock, a guy in a black shirt, trousers, shiny boots and a leather baseball cap came through the door. A pimple burned on his cheek, his eyes were quick and did not sit quietly in their sockets. Vasya thought that the pimple was most likely from the heat next to the kitchen appliances, and the shifty eyes were from serious work. They greeted each other, the manager did not shake hands, offered to sit down, but he himself remained standing. Vasya thought that this was due to the fact that he was head and shoulders above the manager.

- So, you need to remember a few basic things. First, we don't call each other by their first names during shifts. We'll call you Uber because you're the janitor. Previously, a person with such a position was called Ubor, but this did not suit everyone. And Uber sounds great. The managers are called Manami, the boys and girls at the checkout counters are Kassami, the guy who fries the meat can be called Grill, the girl at the infernal potato responds to the word Karta. Do you understand why we prefer such names?

- It's simple. People often change. After all, many come here to earn a bike or a phone, and then quit. A few remain and become managers, like me, for example. This means that I went through the entire chain of positions with dignity. And now fully aware of the specifics of the work of a particular employee. So, since we have a turnover, we do not have time to learn the names, but there is an already established system of abbreviations. This saves time, nerves and health. Do you understand, Uber Vasya?

- By the way, only managers will sometimes call you by your first name, the rest simply do not know that you are Vasya, for them you are just Uber. After the Probation Week, we will host a Reception Dinner for you to join the family and get to know our old-timers.

- And who are they?

- These are managers and those who want to make a career in the company. Actually, if you want the same, then we will be happy to help you.

- Good. Secondly, your duties as an Uber are, on the one hand, simple. On the other hand, you are responsible for the image of our restaurant. For visitors, this is an eatery, a snack bar, dumplings, something else, but for us, employees, this is a restaurant. As you can see, the main colors are red and black. But the floor, as you can see, is snow-white. This creates a special feeling of comfort, order and care for the visitor. The main task is to maintain the frequency. Three times an hour you have to go out into the hall and clean up. It's not messy right now, so the job won't be difficult. In addition, if suddenly someone shouts “Uber! Uber! Uber!”, then you must immediately get to the scene and put the employee’s workplace in order. We work fast, and sometimes there is no time to keep track of some things. Pieces of meat can lie around the Grill, grease splashes, Karta can drop potatoes, Napi (responsible for drinks) always spills Nuka-Cola and cocktails. In general, you need to be always ready. These are the main tasks. Cleanliness in the hall, cleanliness in the workplace. In addition, there is also a toilet and our famous free bath. You must clean up there once an hour, of course, choosing the moment when there is no one in the toilet and in the shower. If during cleaning someone enters the door, then you should immediately finish and leave. Remember, a client who has gone to the toilet or washed himself will definitely want our "ad burger" or "liber lunch".

Vasya listened to Maine with horror and thought about what kind of Uber he would turn out to be.

- I will give you full duties and instructions for signature, and in two days I will take an exam on these documents from you. So teach them. Thirdly, here is your tool.

Maine rolled a shiny steel bucket into the middle of the room with shelves, all sorts of hooks, on which clean rags hung, and so on. Two mops protruded from the bucket, a brush and a dustpan were fastened on the side.

- This is your bread. If Uber performed well, then he moved into the category of ESKAEL - SKL, short for "warehouse". That is, you will be engaged in carrying products from the warehouse and unloading arriving cars with semi-finished products, drinks, and so on. So here's what you need to know. This is a wet mop. This is a dry mop. These three tubes do not just differ in colors…

Vasya listened to Man with horror and could not imagine himself with this "tool". As if it wasn't happening to him. He kept thinking that after the briefing, Meng would say: “Well, now come tomorrow, you’ll just start.” But Meng said something else: "Well, now keep your uniform, change clothes, and I'll wait for you in the hall."

Vasya undressed and began to dress in new clothes. First, a light green shirt, then black pants, black socks, black rubber slippers with porous soles, comfortable, but Vasya's feet quickly sweated. After - a green cap and, finally, a branded leather apron with a scarlet Mordorald emblem. Vasya looked at himself in a small mirror. Vasya did not like it... But somewhere in his soul, somewhere deep, deep, he suddenly felt something like unity. He encouraged himself that after a week of work, a festive dinner would be held in his honor. He encouraged himself that he would not have to join the army. He cheered himself up by the fact that his father undertook to deal with beautiful Japanese phones. He cheered himself up by the fact that an Uber was not a Uber after all. And Vasya, picking up the instrument, went out into the hall. His belongings were left lying lonely on a chair in the micro-negotiation room.

There were about a dozen visitors in the hall. There were two people waiting at the checkout. It was quiet, sunny, empty and calm.

Vasya started his working day.

The trial week for Vasya took a whole century. On the very first day, it seemed to him that respect, philanthropy, freedom - all this exists somewhere in another galaxy. Firstly, when Vasya's mobile phone rang, everyone in the restaurant fell silent. And then Meng, angry as hell, approached Vasya and said that in the MorDorald chain of eateries, family comes first, and then work. Therefore, each employee has the right to call home twice a day. Moreover, the older Meng has mobile phones, they must be handed over upon arrival at work. Secondly, some ragamuffin complained about Vasya, who called Meng and said that the type of toilet paper had changed in the toilet, and the soap had run out in the shower. Meng yelled at Vasya, gave him the correct toilet paper, and in front of everyone urged him not to steal this valuable product. Thirdly, Vasya did not have time. He went out to clean the hall, as a heart-rending cry was immediately heard, meat or potatoes were dropped, spilled, trampled, destroyed. Vasya never suspected that there was such a terrible anthill behind the MorDorald checkout line. Everyone ran like crazy, but in all these races there was a strict system in which Vasya's Uber took the very last place. But, if you look from the other side Vasya's place was first. During a fifteen-minute lunch, Vasya thought that if it were not for the Ubers, the Cashiers, Maines, Grills, Karts and Escaels would have drowned in the garbage.Vasya was chewing an “ad-burger” and washing it down with cola, thinking about taking out the garbage from the bins in front of the entrance. Vasya thought that he had to have time to clean the toilet, because in the evening there would certainly be an influx. Vasya thought that in the shower it would be nice to ask to change the curtain, apparently, somewhere in it there was a hole through which water splashed onto the floor. Vasya munched on an “ad-burger” and washed it down with cola, fully accepting his new social role.

Vasya took off and ran behind the checkout line, where a chic creamy cocktail was waiting for him, spilled near the entrance to the warehouse.

In the evening, when Vasya, dressed in a civilian suit, was about to leave, Maine approached him.

- Vasya, if you want to stay at this place, then you need to be faster. Uber should be efficient, the most efficient employee. I really didn't like the complaint about you from our client about the soap. I didn't like that you drank two colas at lunchtime, that's not encouraged. Research shows that one is enough. I just checked the toilet - it's dirty. You didn't wash everywhere. And you didn't clean the inside of the toilet, which is completely unacceptable. The shower had water on the floor and ran out of soap. You've used wet and dry mops incorrectly. Therefore, I am compelled to make you a suggestion for the first time. The second time there will be a fine. Well, the third time we just part. Do you understand, Uber!?

Vasya mumbled something, but Meng interrupted him.

- Then, as far as you know, we pay our employees wages daily. Since today is your first part-time job and you have one verbal warning, instead of a hundred mordorics you will get fifty.

- Yes, this is our internal currency. One mordorik is six rubles six kopecks. Accordingly, you will receive a little more than three hundred rubles today. Questions?

Vasya thought that making money on the phone here is an art. He went with Meng to the main office of the restaurant, received the money, put all the necessary signatures, and finally ended up on the street. It was light outside. People were walking. Cars drove. No one shouted “Uber, uber, uber!”. Vasya looked at the magical, mysterious world and thought about how beautiful, kind and cozy it is. Vasya was walking to the subway, and he didn't even have a thought to take out his iPhone and play with it. In Vasya's head there was a pleasant emptiness and anger at Maine, who, despite the hellish work, still has the audacity to yell, fine and joke. Vasya was offended. However, he was firmly convinced that he would pass the Test week with honor. And it will become the most valuable employee.

…- So, you are Uber. You are the very last step. But, if you look from the other side, then you are the first step. You create comfort and cleanliness in the MorDorald restaurant. Thanks to you, our free toilet and shower is a pleasure to spend time in. So, Uber, you're doing a very responsible job. And the first thing I'll tell you about is your mobile phone. Give it to me. Family comes first for us, so twice a day you can contact your relatives, but the rest of the time I will have your phone ...

So Man Vasya instructed Uber Alexei. Six months have passed since he first entered the checkout line.

Vasya goes to Mordorald

One day Vasya woke up in horror because he had a terrible dream. It seems that dad met someone from old acquaintances, and this very acquaintance desperately advised dad to send his son to a military school. And it seems like Vasya was going somewhere in shorts on a bus, and then there was such a demon that I don’t even want to remember. Vasya looked at the screen of his iPhone 3G (eight thirty-three), padded into the toilet, then into the bathroom, then got dressed and went out to the kitchen, from which came the "sweet" aroma of coffee.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen, fully prepared to finish his delicious last sips, grab his bag, get into the BMW X5 and get stuck in traffic. Dad said “Good morning” to Vasya somehow gloomily, as if Vasya interfered with dad's deep thoughts. Vasya said "Good morning" and began to tell his dad about his terrible dream. Vasya talked and laughed until he noticed that dad was not very cheerful. And dad really was not very cheerful, because he thought about how strong some otherworldly connection was with relatives. They sometimes, like dolphins, exchange their thoughts remotely, through almost imperceptible signals, and there is no way to escape from this. In general, dad interrupted Vasya and gave him a Speech. The speech was permeated with father's love, like a pig's leg with toothpicks, but if the pig's leg was delicious to eat with beer and cabbage, then papa's Speech made you want to sit down and cry.

So, Vasya was offered the following. Since dad had already made sure that the child entered a quality educational institution, dad offered Vasya to do work to ease dad's and mom's expenses. Dad spoke convincingly, and Vasya even at some point thought that everything would work out, he even said something like “Yes, I'm already getting a job, just about. ”, but dad interrupted him and said that he had found a job. “You, Vasya, are settled everywhere with us, and you won’t go to the army, your mother took care of it, and you’ll get a higher education, I’ll take care of that, but you haven’t seen life. You only play with your phones and sit at the computer. And, you and your friends are doing something there. Vasya, you need teamwork experience.”

In short, the dream was to some extent in hand, dad really met a friend, but not a military man, but the director of a branch of the MorDorald eatery chain. They sat very nicely in Muscat, ate well, even accepted some fire water for a meeting, dad began to talk about his son, that it would be nice to send him to the army, and the branch director said that work in a diner is much faster will bring him (son) to his senses, teach coordinated actions in a team, the ability to make decisions quickly, plus he will quickly understand what he is worth. Dad, as it were, gradually asked if he could help with the employment of his son, to which the director of the branch replied that he would be happy to help. Yes, and you don’t really need help, people are always needed, the network is growing due to the fact that there are not only inexpensive “ad-burgers” and “mordor-lunches” (“ad-burger”, “Lucifer-style potatoes” plus “nuclear- cola"), but also special free gothic-style bathrooms. Not only toilets, but even a bathroom and even a bidet. Dad asked, what position can his son get? The branch manager answered, dad smiled.

So, when Vasya heard about Mordorald, he got very angry. He told papa that he had seen such a place of work in a well-known place and that he had better go begging. He said that he and his buddies are trying to get a lot of Japanese phones for resale at a cheap price, and he wants to do this business. Vasya was still ready to say a lot, he had a lump in his throat, his eyes sparkled, but dad simply said: “Either, son, you are going to an interview at Mordorald, or I will put you in the service. Let me make your dreams come true. You can think for a day, and tomorrow I'll wait for you with a ready-made solution.

Vasya spent the day in a fuss. He and his friends really ordered a batch of Japanese Sharp, Sony Ericsson and Nec phones (ten pieces). They borrowed money from not very good people, borrowed a rather large amount for them for two weeks, counting on the fact that upon arrival they would be able to profitably sell the phones on the forums. Upon the arrival of the cargo, it turned out that not all phones were included in the kit with special “hypersims”. Plus, not all phones come with chargers. The phones were beautiful, they sparkled and shimmered in the sun, but only four of them worked normally, caught the network, you could call from them. For the rest, it was necessary to look for hypersim cards somewhere and so on. Vasya remembered how good the idea seemed to be to buy original, interesting models cheaply in Japan (about three hundred dollars per model) and sell them in Moscow for a high price - twenty thousand.Or at least nineteen. In general, they decided that for now it is possible to hang ads on all forums, and it will be seen there. And so, Vasya spent the day in a fuss, trying to sell to friends, acquaintances, on "humps" and "scoops" a couple of working devices. Alas, but these bold attempts of his ended in nothing. And he remembered how great it was to choose phones for ordering, and how he wanted to play with them, and he even thought that he could keep one of them for himself, because the money is splashes, we will find something to give. And not quite good friends who borrowed money from them, called daily and asked to repay the debt earlier. And they knew how things were going. And Vasya was scared, because on the "humps" and "scoops" the sellers gave a maximum of ten thousand for both devices, and then with a big, big stretch. Vasya understood that it was tobacco. He needed to return his share, a little over a thousand dollars. But Vasya did not have a thousand dollars. Vasya had an army or Mordorald in front. And two weeks were coming to an end very soon.

In general, the next morning, when they met with dad in the kitchen, Vasya asked him: “Dad, but those who went to the execution were supposed to have their last wish. So I wanted to know if I have the right to it? Dad asked for a start what he decided when he found out that it was Mordorald, dad told Vasya that he would fulfill almost any of his desires (except “May I not go to Mordorald”). Vasya sighed and told his dad about the idea with Japanese phones. Dad, laughing, said that the market needs to be studied more carefully. Then he asked to bring all the "Japanese phones" to him, asked him to give the phone number of the people from whom they took money, and told Vasya the address and phone number of "MorDorald", where Vasya had to go.

And here Vasya was waiting for the manager in a small meeting room, the entrance to which was located behind the MorDorald cash desk line. At exactly ten o'clock a guy in a black shirt, trousers, shiny boots and a leather baseball cap came through the door. A pimple burned on his cheek, his eyes were quick and did not sit quietly in their sockets. Vasya thought that the pimple was most likely from the heat next to the kitchen appliances, and the shifty eyes were from serious work. They said hello, the manager did not shake hands, offered to sit down, and he himself remained standing. Vasya thought that this was due to the fact that he was head and shoulders above the manager.

- So, you need to remember a few basic things. First, we don't call each other by their first names during shifts. We'll call you Uber because you're the janitor. Previously, a person with such a position was called Ubor, but this did not suit everyone. And Uber sounds great. The managers are called Manami, the boys and girls at the checkout counters are Kassami, the guy who fries the meat can be called Grill, the girl at the infernal potato responds to the word Karta. Do you understand why we prefer such names?

- It's simple. People often change. After all, many come here to earn a bike or a phone, and then quit. A few remain and become managers, like me, for example. This means that I went through the entire chain of positions with dignity. And now fully aware of the specifics of the work of a particular employee. So, since we have a turnover, we do not have time to learn the names, but there is an already established system of abbreviations. This saves time, nerves and health. Do you understand, Uber Vasya?

- By the way, only managers will sometimes call you by your first name, the rest simply do not know that you are Vasya, for them you are just Uber. After the Probation Week, we will host a Reception Dinner for you to join the family and get to know our old-timers.

- And who are they?

- These are managers and those who want to make a career in the company. Actually, if you want the same, then we will be happy to help you.

- Good. Secondly, your duties as an Uber are, on the one hand, simple. On the other hand, you are responsible for the image of our restaurant. For visitors, this is an eatery, a snack bar, dumplings, something else, but for us, employees, this is a restaurant. As you can see, the main colors are red and black. But the floor, as you can see, is snow-white. This creates a special feeling of comfort, order and care for the visitor. The main task is to maintain the frequency. Three times an hour you have to go out into the hall and clean up. It's not messy right now, so the job won't be difficult. In addition, if suddenly someone shouts “Uber! Uber! Uber!”, then you must immediately get to the scene and put the employee’s workplace in order. We work fast, and sometimes there is no time to keep track of some things. Pieces of meat can lie around the Grill, grease splashes, Karta can drop potatoes, Napi (responsible for drinks) always spills Nuka-Cola and cocktails. In general, you need to be always ready. These are the main tasks. Cleanliness in the hall, cleanliness in the workplace. In addition, there is also a toilet and our famous free bath. You must clean up there once an hour, of course, choosing the moment when there is no one in the toilet and in the shower. If during cleaning someone enters the door, then you should immediately finish and leave. Remember, a client who has gone to the toilet or washed himself will definitely want our "ad burger" or "liber lunch".

Vasya listened to Maine with horror and thought about what kind of Uber he would turn out to be.

- I will give you full duties and instructions for signature, and in two days I will take an exam on these documents from you. So teach them. Thirdly, here is your tool.

Maine rolled a shiny steel bucket into the middle of the room with shelves, all sorts of hooks, on which clean rags hung, and so on. Two mops were sticking out of the bucket, a brush and a dustpan were fastened on the side.

- This is your bread. If Uber performed well, then he moved into the category of ESKAEL - SKL, short for "warehouse". That is, you will be engaged in carrying products from the warehouse and unloading arriving cars with semi-finished products, drinks, and so on. So here's what you need to know. This is a wet mop. This is a dry mop. These three tubes do not just differ in colors…

Vasya listened to Man with horror and could not imagine himself with this "tool". As if it wasn't happening to him. He kept thinking that after the briefing, Meng would say: “Well, now come tomorrow, you’ll just start.” But Meng said something else: "Well, now keep your uniform, change clothes, and I'll wait for you in the hall."

Vasya undressed and began to dress in new clothes. First, a light green shirt, then black pants, black socks, black rubber slippers with porous soles, comfortable, but Vasya's feet quickly sweated. After - a green cap and, finally, a branded leather apron with a scarlet Mordorald emblem. Vasya looked at himself in a small mirror. Vasya did not like it... But somewhere in his soul, somewhere deep, deep, he suddenly felt something like unity. He encouraged himself that after a week of work, a festive dinner would be held in his honor. He encouraged himself that he would not have to join the army. He cheered himself up by the fact that his father undertook to deal with beautiful Japanese phones. He cheered himself up by the fact that an Uber was not a Uber after all. And Vasya, picking up the instrument, went out into the hall. His belongings were left lying lonely on a chair in the micro-negotiation room.

There were about a dozen visitors in the hall. There were two people waiting at the checkout. It was quiet, sunny, empty and calm.

Vasya started his working day.

The test week for Vasya took a whole century. On the very first day, it seemed to him that respect, philanthropy, freedom - all this exists somewhere in another galaxy. Firstly, when Vasya's mobile phone rang, everyone in the restaurant fell silent. And then Meng, angry as hell, approached Vasya and said that in the MorDorald chain of eateries, family comes first, and then work. Therefore, each employee has the right to call home twice a day. Moreover, the older Meng has mobile phones, they must be handed over upon arrival at work. Secondly, some ragamuffin complained about Vasya, who called Meng and said that the type of toilet paper had changed in the toilet, and the soap had run out in the shower. Meng yelled at Vasya, gave him the correct toilet paper, and in front of everyone urged him not to steal this valuable product. Thirdly, Vasya did not have time. He went out to clean the hall, as a heart-rending cry was immediately heard, meat or potatoes were dropped, spilled, trampled, destroyed. Vasya never suspected that there was such a terrible anthill behind the Mordorald checkout line. Everyone ran like crazy, but in all these races there was a strict system in which Vasya's Uber took the very last place. But, if you look from the other side , then Vasya's place was the first. During a fifteen-minute lunch, Vasya thought that if it weren’t for the Ubers, the Cashiers, Maines, Grills, Karts and Escaels would have drowned in the garbage.Vasya was chewing an “ad-burger” and washing it down with cola, thinking about taking out the garbage from the bins in front of the entrance. Vasya thought that he had to have time to clean the toilet, because in the evening there would certainly be an influx. Vasya thought that in the shower it would be nice to ask to change the curtain, apparently, somewhere in it there was a hole through which water splashed onto the floor. Vasya munched on an “ad-burger” and washed it down with cola, fully accepting his new social role.

Vasya took off and ran behind the checkout line, where a chic creamy cocktail was waiting for him, spilled near the entrance to the warehouse.

In the evening, when Vasya, dressed in a civilian suit, was about to leave, Maine approached him.

- Vasya, if you want to stay at this place, then you need to be faster. Uber is supposed to be efficient, the most efficient employee. I really didn't like the complaint about you from our client about the soap. I didn't like that you drank two colas at lunchtime, that's not encouraged. Research shows that one is enough. I just checked the toilet - it's dirty. You didn't wash everywhere. And you didn't clean the inside of the toilet, which is totally unacceptable. The shower had water on the floor and ran out of soap. You misused wet and dry mops. Therefore, I am compelled to make you a suggestion for the first time. The second time there will be a fine. Well, the third time we just part. Do you understand, Uber!?

Vasya mumbled something, but Meng interrupted him.

- Then, as far as you know, we pay our employees wages daily. Since today is your first part-time job and you have one verbal warning, instead of a hundred mordorics you will get fifty.

- Yes, this is our internal currency. One mordorik is six rubles six kopecks. Accordingly, you will receive a little more than three hundred rubles today. Questions?

Vasya thought that making money on the phone here is an art. He went with Meng to the main office of the restaurant, received the money, put all the necessary signatures, and finally ended up on the street. It was light outside. People were walking. Cars drove. No one shouted “Uber, uber, uber!”. Vasya looked at the magical, mysterious world and thought about how beautiful, kind and cozy it is. Vasya was walking to the subway, and he didn't even have a thought to take out his iPhone and play with it. In Vasya's head there was a pleasant emptiness and anger at Maine, who, despite the hellish work, still has the audacity to yell, fine and joke. Vasya was offended. However, he was firmly convinced that he would pass the Test week with honor. And it will become the most valuable employee.

…- So, you are Uber. You are the very last step. But, if you look from the other side, then you are the first step. You create comfort and cleanliness in the MorDorald restaurant. Thanks to you, our free toilet and shower is a pleasure to spend time in. So, Uber, you're doing a very responsible job. And the first thing I'll tell you about is your mobile phone. Give it to me. Family comes first for us, so twice a day you can contact your relatives, but the rest of the time I will have your phone ...

So Man Vasya instructed Uber Alexei. Six months have passed since he first entered the checkout line.

Vasya goes to Mordorald

One day Vasya woke up terrified because he had a terrible dream. It seems that dad met someone from old acquaintances, and this very acquaintance desperately advised dad to send his son to a military school. And it seems like Vasya was going somewhere in shorts on a bus, and then there was such a demon that I don’t even want to remember. Vasya looked at the screen of his iPhone 3G (eight thirty-three), padded into the toilet, then into the bathroom, then got dressed and went out to the kitchen, from which came the "sweet" aroma of coffee.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen, fully prepared to finish his delicious last sips, grab his bag, get into the BMW X5 and get stuck in traffic. Dad said “Good morning” to Vasya somehow gloomily, as if Vasya interfered with dad's deep thoughts. Vasya said "Good morning" and began to tell his dad about his terrible dream. Vasya talked and laughed until he noticed that dad was not very cheerful. And dad really was not very cheerful, because he thought about how strong some otherworldly connection was with relatives. They sometimes, like dolphins, exchange their thoughts remotely, through almost imperceptible signals, and there is no way to escape from this. In general, dad interrupted Vasya and gave him a Speech. The speech was permeated with father's love, like a pig's leg with toothpicks, but if the pig's leg was delicious to eat with beer and cabbage, then papa's Speech made you want to sit down and cry.

So, Vasya was offered the following. Since dad had already made sure that the child entered a quality educational institution, dad offered Vasya to do work to ease dad's and mom's expenses. Dad spoke convincingly, and Vasya even at some point thought that everything would work out, he even said something like “Yes, I'm already getting a job, just about. ”, but dad interrupted him and said that he had found a job. “You, Vasya, are settled everywhere with us, and you won’t go to the army, your mother took care of it, and you’ll get a higher education, I’ll take care of that, but you haven’t seen life. You only play with your phones and sit at the computer. And, you and your friends are doing something there. Vasya, you need teamwork experience.”

In short, the dream was to some extent in hand, dad really met a friend, but not a military man, but the director of a branch of the Mordorald snack chain. They sat very nicely in Muscat, ate well, even accepted some fire water for a meeting, dad began to talk about his son, that it would be nice to send him to the army, and the branch director said that work in a diner is much faster will bring him (son) to his senses, teach coordinated actions in a team, the ability to make decisions quickly, plus he will quickly understand what he is worth. Dad, as it were, gradually asked if he could help with the employment of his son, to which the director of the branch replied that he would be happy to help. Yes, and you don’t really need help, people are always needed, the network is growing due to the fact that there are not only inexpensive “ad-burgers” and “mordor-lunches” (“ad-burger”, “Lucifer-style potatoes” plus “nuclear- cola"), but also special free gothic-style bathrooms. Not only toilets, but even a bathroom and even a bidet. Dad asked, what position can his son get? The branch manager answered, dad smiled.

So, when Vasya heard about Mordorald, he got very angry. He told papa that he had seen such a place of work in a well-known place and that he had better go begging. He said that he and his buddies are trying to get a lot of Japanese phones for resale at a cheap price, and he wants to do this business. Vasya was still ready to say a lot, he had a lump in his throat, his eyes sparkled, but dad simply said: “Either, son, you are going to an interview at Mordorald, or I will put you in the service. Let me make your dreams come true. You can think for a day, and tomorrow I'll wait for you with a ready-made solution.

Vasya spent the day in a fuss. He and his friends really ordered a batch of Japanese Sharp, Sony Ericsson and Nec phones (ten pieces). They borrowed money from not very good people, borrowed a rather large amount for them for two weeks, counting on the fact that upon arrival they would be able to profitably sell the phones on the forums. Upon the arrival of the cargo, it turned out that not all phones were included in the kit with special “hypersims”. Plus, not all phones come with chargers. The phones were beautiful, they sparkled and shimmered in the sun, but only four of them worked normally, caught the network, you could call from them. For the rest, it was necessary to look for hypersim cards somewhere and so on. Vasya remembered how good the idea seemed to be to buy original, interesting models cheaply in Japan (about three hundred dollars per model) and sell them in Moscow for a high price - twenty thousand.Or at least nineteen. In general, they decided that for now it is possible to hang ads on all forums, and it will be seen there. And so, Vasya spent the day in a fuss, trying to sell to friends, acquaintances, on "humps" and "scoops" a couple of working devices. Alas, but these bold attempts of his ended in nothing. And he remembered how great it was to choose phones for ordering, and how he wanted to play with them, and he even thought that he could keep one of them for himself, because the money is splashes, we will find something to give. And not quite good friends who borrowed money from them, called daily and asked to repay the debt earlier. And they knew how things were going. And Vasya was scared, because on the "humps" and "scoops" the sellers gave a maximum of ten thousand for both devices, and then with a big, big stretch. Vasya understood that it was tobacco. He needed to return his share, a little over a thousand dollars. But Vasya did not have a thousand dollars. Vasya had an army or Mordorald in front. And two weeks were coming to an end very soon.

In general, the next morning, when they met with dad in the kitchen, Vasya asked him: “Dad, but those who went to the execution were supposed to have their last wish. So I wanted to know if I have the right to it? Dad asked for a start what he decided when he found out that it was Mordorald, dad told Vasya that he would fulfill almost any of his desires (except “May I not go to Mordorald”). Vasya sighed and told his dad about the idea with Japanese phones. Dad, having laughed, said that the market needs to be studied more carefully. Then he asked to bring all the "Japanese phones" to him, asked him to give the phone number of the people from whom they took money, and told Vasya the address and phone number of "MorDorald", where Vasya had to go.

And here Vasya was waiting for the manager in a small meeting room, the entrance to which was behind the MorDorald cash desk line. At exactly ten o'clock, a guy in a black shirt, trousers, shiny boots and a leather baseball cap came through the door. A pimple burned on his cheek, his eyes were quick and did not sit quietly in their sockets. Vasya thought that the pimple was most likely from the heat next to the kitchen appliances, and the shifty eyes were from serious work. They greeted each other, the manager did not shake hands, offered to sit down, but he himself remained standing. Vasya thought that this was due to the fact that he was head and shoulders above the manager.

- So, you need to remember a few basic things. First, we don't call each other by their first names during shifts. We'll call you Uber because you're the janitor. Previously, a person with such a position was called Ubor, but this did not suit everyone. And Uber sounds great. The managers are called Manami, the boys and girls at the checkout counters are Kassami, the guy who fries the meat can be called Grill, the girl at the infernal potato responds to the word Karta. Do you understand why we prefer such names?

- It's simple. People often change. After all, many people come here to earn money for a bicycle or a phone, and then they leave. A few remain and become managers, like me, for example. This means that I went through the entire chain of positions with dignity. And now fully aware of the specifics of the work of a particular employee. So, since we have a turnover, we do not have time to learn the names, but there is an already established system of abbreviations. This saves time, nerves and health. Do you understand, Uber Vasya?

- By the way, only managers will sometimes call you by your first name, the rest simply do not know that you are Vasya, for them you are just an Uber. After the Probation Week, we will host a Reception Dinner for you to join the family and get to know our old-timers.

- And who are they?

- These are managers and those who want to make a career in the company. Actually, if you want the same, then we will be happy to help you.

- Good. Secondly, your duties as an Uber are, on the one hand, simple. On the other hand, you are responsible for the image of our restaurant. For visitors, this is an eatery, a snack bar, dumplings, something else, but for us, employees, this is a restaurant. As you can see, the main colors are red and black. But the floor, as you can see, is snow-white. This creates a special feeling of comfort, order and care for the visitor. The main task is to maintain the frequency. Three times an hour you have to go out into the hall and clean up. It's not messy right now, so the job won't be difficult. In addition, if suddenly someone shouts “Uber! Uber! Uber!”, then you must immediately get to the scene and put the employee’s workplace in order. We work fast, and sometimes there is no time to keep track of some things. Pieces of meat can lie around the Grill, grease splashes, Karta can drop potatoes, Napi (responsible for drinks) always spills Nuka-Cola and cocktails. In general, you need to be always ready. These are the main tasks. Cleanliness in the hall, cleanliness in the workplace. In addition, there is also a toilet and our famous free bath. You must clean up there once an hour, of course, choosing the moment when there is no one in the toilet and in the shower. If during cleaning someone enters the door, then you should immediately finish and leave. Remember, a client who has gone to the toilet or washed himself will definitely want our "ad burger" or "liber lunch".

Vasya listened to Maine with horror and thought about what kind of Uber he would turn out to be.

- I will give you full duties and instructions for signature, and in two days I will take an exam on these documents from you. So teach them. Thirdly, here is your tool.

Maine rolled a shiny steel bucket into the middle of the room with shelves, all sorts of hooks, on which clean rags hung, and so on. Two mops protruded from the bucket, a brush and a dustpan were fastened on the side.

- This is your bread. If Uber performed well, then he moved into the category of ESKAEL - SKL, short for "warehouse". That is, you will be engaged in carrying products from the warehouse and unloading arriving cars with semi-finished products, drinks, and so on. So here's what you need to know. This is a wet mop. This is a dry mop. These three tubes do not just differ in colors…

Vasya listened to Man with horror and could not imagine himself with this "tool". As if it wasn't happening to him. He kept thinking that after the briefing, Meng would say: “Well, now come tomorrow, you’ll just start.” But Meng said something else: "Well, now keep your uniform, change clothes, and I'll wait for you in the hall."

Vasya undressed and began to dress in new clothes. First, a light green shirt, then black pants, black socks, black rubber slippers with porous soles, comfortable, but Vasya's feet quickly sweated. After - a green cap and, finally, a branded leather apron with a scarlet Mordorald emblem. Vasya looked at himself in a small mirror. Vasya did not like it... But somewhere in his soul, somewhere deep, deep, he suddenly felt something like unity. He encouraged himself that after a week of work, a festive dinner would be held in his honor. He encouraged himself that he would not have to join the army. He cheered himself up by the fact that his father undertook to deal with beautiful Japanese phones. He cheered himself up by the fact that an Uber was not a Uber after all. And Vasya, picking up the instrument, went out into the hall. His belongings were left lying lonely on a chair in the micro-negotiation room.

There were about a dozen visitors in the hall. There were two people waiting at the checkout. It was quiet, sunny, empty and calm.

Vasya started his working day.

The trial week for Vasya took a whole century. On the very first day, it seemed to him that respect, philanthropy, freedom - all this exists somewhere in another galaxy. Firstly, when Vasya's mobile phone rang, everyone in the restaurant fell silent. And then Meng, angry as hell, approached Vasya and said that in the MorDorald chain of eateries, family comes first, and then work. Therefore, each employee has the right to call home twice a day. Moreover, the older Meng has mobile phones, they must be handed over upon arrival at work. Secondly, some ragamuffin complained about Vasya, who called Meng and said that the type of toilet paper had changed in the toilet, and the soap had run out in the shower. Meng yelled at Vasya, gave him the correct toilet paper, and in front of everyone urged him not to steal this valuable product. Thirdly, Vasya did not have time. He went out to clean the hall, as a heart-rending cry was immediately heard, meat or potatoes were dropped, spilled, trampled, destroyed. Vasya never suspected that there was such a terrible anthill behind the MorDorald checkout line. Everyone ran like crazy, but in all these races there was a strict system in which Vasya's Uber took the very last place. But, if you look from the other side Vasya's place was first. During a fifteen-minute lunch, Vasya thought that if it were not for the Ubers, the Cashiers, Maines, Grills, Karts and Escaels would have drowned in the garbage.Vasya was chewing on an “ad-burger” and washing it down with cola, thinking about taking out the trash from the bins in front of the entrance. Vasya thought that he had to have time to clean the toilet, because in the evening there would certainly be an influx. Vasya thought that in the shower it would be nice to ask to change the curtain, apparently, somewhere in it there was a hole through which water splashed onto the floor. Vasya munched on an “ad-burger” and washed it down with cola, fully accepting his new social role.

Vasya took off and ran behind the checkout line, where a chic creamy cocktail was waiting for him, spilled near the entrance to the warehouse.

In the evening, when Vasya, dressed in a civilian suit, was about to leave, Maine approached him.

- Vasya, if you want to stay at this place, then you need to be faster. Uber should be efficient, the most efficient employee. I really didn't like the complaint about you from our client about the soap. I didn't like that you drank two colas at lunchtime, that's not encouraged. Research shows that one is enough. I just checked the toilet - it's dirty. You didn't wash everywhere. And you didn't clean the inside of the toilet, which is completely unacceptable. The shower had water on the floor and ran out of soap. You've used wet and dry mops incorrectly. Therefore, I am compelled to make you a suggestion for the first time. The second time there will be a fine. Well, the third time we just part. Do you understand, Uber!?

Vasya mumbled something, but Meng interrupted him.

- Then, as far as you know, we pay our employees wages daily. Since today is your first part-time job and you have one verbal warning, instead of a hundred mordorics you will get fifty.

- Yes, this is our internal currency. One mordorik is six rubles six kopecks. Accordingly, you will receive a little more than three hundred rubles today. Questions?

Vasya thought that making money on the phone here is an art. He went with Meng to the main office of the restaurant, received the money, put all the necessary signatures, and finally ended up on the street. It was light outside. People were walking. Cars drove. No one shouted “Uber, uber, uber!”. Vasya looked at the magical, mysterious world and thought about how beautiful, kind and cozy it is. Vasya was walking to the subway, and he didn't even have a thought to take out his iPhone and play with it. In Vasya's head there was a pleasant emptiness and anger at Maine, who, despite the hellish work, still has the audacity to yell, fine and joke. Vasya was offended. However, he was firmly convinced that he would pass the Test week with honor. And it will become the most valuable employee.

…- So, you are Uber. You are the very last step. But, if you look from the other side, then you are the first step. You create comfort and cleanliness in the MorDorald restaurant. Thanks to you, our free toilet and shower is a pleasure to spend time in. So, Uber, you're doing a very responsible job. And the first thing I'll tell you about is your mobile phone. Give it to me. Family comes first for us, so twice a day you can contact your relatives, but the rest of the time I will have your phone ...

So Man Vasya instructed Uber Alexei. Six months have passed since he first entered the checkout line.

Vasya goes to Mordorald

One day Vasya woke up in horror because he had a terrible dream. It seems that dad met someone from old acquaintances, and this very acquaintance desperately advised dad to send his son to a military school. And it seems like Vasya was going somewhere in shorts on a bus, and then there was such a demon that I don’t even want to remember. Vasya looked at the screen of his iPhone 3G (eight thirty-three), padded into the toilet, then into the bathroom, then got dressed and went out to the kitchen, from which came the "sweet" aroma of coffee.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen, fully prepared to finish his delicious last sips, grab his bag, get into the BMW X5 and get stuck in traffic. Dad said “Good morning” to Vasya somehow gloomily, as if Vasya interfered with dad's deep thoughts. Vasya said "Good morning" and began to tell his dad about his terrible dream. Vasya talked and laughed until he noticed that dad was not very cheerful. And dad really was not very cheerful, because he thought about how strong some otherworldly connection was with relatives. They sometimes, like dolphins, exchange their thoughts remotely, through almost imperceptible signals, and there is no way to escape from this. In general, dad interrupted Vasya and gave him a Speech. The speech was permeated with father's love, like a pig's leg with toothpicks, but if the pig's leg was delicious to eat with beer and cabbage, then papa's Speech made you want to sit down and cry.

So, Vasya was offered the following. Since dad had already made sure that the child entered a quality educational institution, dad offered Vasya to do work to ease dad's and mom's expenses. Dad spoke convincingly, and Vasya even at some point thought that everything would work out, he even said something like “Yes, I'm already getting a job, just about. ”, but dad interrupted him and said that he had found a job. “You, Vasya, are settled everywhere with us, and you won’t go to the army, your mother took care of it, and you’ll get a higher education, I’ll take care of that, but you haven’t seen life. You only play with your phones and sit at the computer. And, you and your friends are doing something there. Vasya, you need teamwork experience.”

In short, the dream was to some extent in hand, dad really met a friend, but not a military man, but the director of a branch of the MorDorald eatery chain. They sat very nicely in Muscat, ate well, even accepted some fire water for a meeting, dad began to talk about his son, that it would be nice to send him to the army, and the branch director said that work in a diner is much faster will bring him (son) to his senses, teach coordinated actions in a team, the ability to make decisions quickly, plus he will quickly understand what he is worth. Dad, as it were, gradually asked if he could help with the employment of his son, to which the director of the branch replied that he would be happy to help. Yes, and you don’t really need help, people are always needed, the network is growing due to the fact that there are not only inexpensive “ad-burgers” and “mordor-lunches” (“ad-burger”, “Lucifer-style potatoes” plus “nuclear- cola"), but also special free gothic-style bathrooms. Not only toilets, but even a bathroom and even a bidet. Dad asked, what position can his son get? The branch manager answered, dad smiled.

So, when Vasya heard about Mordorald, he got very angry. He told papa that he had seen such a place of work in a well-known place and that he had better go begging. He said that he and his buddies are trying to get a lot of Japanese phones for resale at a cheap price, and he wants to do this business. Vasya was still ready to say a lot, he had a lump in his throat, his eyes sparkled, but dad simply said: “Either, son, you are going to an interview at Mordorald, or I will put you in the service. Let me make your dreams come true. You can think for a day, and tomorrow I'll wait for you with a ready-made solution.

Vasya spent the day in a fuss. He and his friends really ordered a batch of Japanese Sharp, Sony Ericsson and Nec phones (ten pieces). They borrowed money from not very good people, borrowed a rather large amount for them for two weeks, counting on the fact that upon arrival they would be able to profitably sell the phones on the forums. Upon the arrival of the cargo, it turned out that not all phones were included in the kit with special “hypersims”. Plus, not all phones come with chargers. The phones were beautiful, they sparkled and shimmered in the sun, but only four of them worked normally, caught the network, you could call from them. For the rest, it was necessary to look for hypersim cards somewhere and so on. Vasya remembered how good the idea seemed to be to buy original, interesting models cheaply in Japan (about three hundred dollars per model) and sell them in Moscow for a high price - twenty thousand. Or at least nineteen.In general, they decided that for now it is possible to hang ads on all forums, and it will be seen there. And so, Vasya spent the day in a fuss, trying to sell to friends, acquaintances, on "humps" and "scoops" a couple of working devices. Alas, but these bold attempts of his ended in nothing. And he remembered how great it was to choose phones for ordering, and how he wanted to play with them, and he even thought that he could keep one of them for himself, because the money is splashes, we will find something to give. And not quite good friends who borrowed money from them, called daily and asked to repay the debt earlier. And they knew how things were going. And Vasya was scared, because on the "humps" and "scoops" the sellers gave a maximum of ten thousand for both devices, and then with a big, big stretch. Vasya understood that it was tobacco. He needed to return his share, a little over a thousand dollars. But Vasya did not have a thousand dollars. Vasya had an army or Mordorald in front. And two weeks were coming to an end very soon.

In general, the next morning, when they met with dad in the kitchen, Vasya asked him: “Dad, but those who went to the execution were supposed to have their last wish. So I wanted to know if I have the right to it? Dad asked for a start what he decided when he found out that it was Mordorald, dad told Vasya that he would fulfill almost any of his desires (except “May I not go to Mordorald”). Vasya sighed and told his dad about the idea with Japanese phones. Dad, laughing, said that the market needs to be studied more carefully. Then he asked to bring all the "Japanese phones" to him, asked him to give the phone number of the people from whom they took money, and told Vasya the address and phone number of "MorDorald", where Vasya had to go.

And here Vasya was waiting for the manager in a small meeting room, the entrance to which was located behind the MorDorald cash desk line. At exactly ten o'clock a guy in a black shirt, trousers, shiny boots and a leather baseball cap came through the door. A pimple burned on his cheek, his eyes were quick and did not sit quietly in their sockets. Vasya thought that the pimple was most likely from the heat next to the kitchen appliances, and the shifty eyes were from serious work. They said hello, the manager did not shake hands, offered to sit down, and he himself remained standing. Vasya thought that this was due to the fact that he was head and shoulders above the manager.

- So, you need to remember a few basic things. First, we don't call each other by their first names during shifts. We'll call you Uber because you're the janitor. Previously, a person with such a position was called Ubor, but this did not suit everyone. And Uber sounds great. The managers are called Manami, the boys and girls at the checkout counters are Kassami, the guy who fries the meat can be called Grill, the girl at the infernal potato responds to the word Karta. Do you understand why we prefer such names?

- It's simple. People often change. After all, many people come here to earn money for a bicycle or a phone, and then they leave. A few remain and become managers, like me, for example. This means that I went through the entire chain of positions with dignity. And now fully aware of the specifics of the work of a particular employee. So, since we have a turnover, we do not have time to learn the names, but there is an already established system of abbreviations. This saves time, nerves and health. Do you understand, Uber Vasya?

- By the way, only managers will sometimes call you by your first name, the rest simply do not know that you are Vasya, for them you are just an Uber. After the Probation Week, we will host a Reception Dinner for you to join the family and get to know our old-timers.

- And who are they?

- These are managers and those who want to make a career in the company. Actually, if you want the same, then we will be happy to help you.

- Good. Secondly, your duties as an Uber are, on the one hand, simple. On the other hand, you are responsible for the image of our restaurant. For visitors, this is an eatery, a snack bar, dumplings, something else, but for us, employees, this is a restaurant. As you can see, the main colors are red and black. But the floor, as you can see, is snow-white. This creates a special feeling of comfort, order and care for the visitor. The main task is to maintain the frequency. Three times an hour you have to go out into the hall and clean up. It's not messy right now, so the job won't be difficult. In addition, if suddenly someone shouts “Uber! Uber! Uber!”, then you must immediately get to the scene and put the employee’s workplace in order. We work fast, and sometimes there is no time to keep track of some things. Pieces of meat can lie around the Grill, grease splashes, Karta can drop potatoes, Napi (responsible for drinks) always spills Nuka-Cola and cocktails. In general, you need to be always ready. These are the main tasks. Cleanliness in the hall, cleanliness in the workplace. In addition, there is also a toilet and our famous free bath. You must clean up there once an hour, of course, choosing the moment when there is no one in the toilet and in the shower. If during cleaning someone enters the door, then you should immediately finish and leave. Remember, a client who has gone to the toilet or washed himself will definitely want our "ad burger" or "liber lunch".

Vasya listened to Maine with horror and thought about what kind of Uber he would turn out to be.

- I will give you full duties and instructions for signature, and in two days I will take an exam on these documents from you. So teach them. Thirdly, here is your tool.

Maine rolled a shiny steel bucket into the middle of the room with shelves, all sorts of hooks, on which clean rags hung, and so on. Two mops were sticking out of the bucket, a brush and a dustpan were fastened on the side.

- This is your bread. If Uber performed well, then he moved into the category of ESKAEL - SKL, short for "warehouse". That is, you will be engaged in carrying products from the warehouse and unloading arriving cars with semi-finished products, drinks, and so on. So here's what you need to know. This is a wet mop. This is a dry mop. These three tubes do not just differ in colors…

Vasya listened to Man with horror and could not imagine himself with this "tool". As if it wasn't happening to him. He kept thinking that after the briefing, Meng would say: “Well, now come tomorrow, you’ll just start.” But Meng said something else: "Well, now keep your uniform, change clothes, and I'll wait for you in the hall."

Vasya undressed and began to dress in new clothes. First, a light green shirt, then black pants, black socks, black rubber slippers with porous soles, comfortable, but Vasya's feet quickly sweated. After - a green cap and, finally, a branded leather apron with a scarlet Mordorald emblem. Vasya looked at himself in a small mirror. Vasya did not like it... But somewhere in his soul, somewhere deep, deep, he suddenly felt something like unity. He encouraged himself that after a week of work, a festive dinner would be held in his honor. He encouraged himself that he would not have to join the army. He cheered himself up by the fact that his father undertook to deal with beautiful Japanese phones. He cheered himself up by the fact that an Uber was not a Uber after all. And Vasya, picking up the instrument, went out into the hall. His belongings were left lying lonely on a chair in the micro-negotiation room.

There were about a dozen visitors in the hall. There were two people waiting at the checkout. It was quiet, sunny, empty and calm.

Vasya started his working day.

The test week for Vasya took a whole century. On the very first day, it seemed to him that respect, philanthropy, freedom - all this exists somewhere in another galaxy. Firstly, when Vasya's mobile phone rang, everyone in the restaurant fell silent. And then Meng, angry as hell, approached Vasya and said that in the MorDorald chain of eateries, family comes first, and then work. Therefore, each employee has the right to call home twice a day. Moreover, the older Meng has mobile phones, they must be handed over upon arrival at work. Secondly, some ragamuffin complained about Vasya, who called Meng and said that the type of toilet paper had changed in the toilet, and the soap had run out in the shower. Meng yelled at Vasya, gave him the correct toilet paper, and in front of everyone urged him not to steal this valuable product. Thirdly, Vasya did not have time. He went out to clean the hall, as a heart-rending cry was immediately heard, meat or potatoes were dropped, spilled, trampled, destroyed. Vasya never suspected that there was such a terrible anthill behind the Mordorald checkout line. Everyone ran like crazy, but in all these races there was a strict system in which Vasya's Uber took the very last place. But, if you look from the other side, then Vasya's place was the first. During a fifteen-minute lunch, Vasya thought that if it weren’t for the Ubers, the Cashiers, Maines, Grills, Karts and Escaels would have drowned in the garbage. Vasya was chewing an “ad-burger” and washing it down with cola, thinking about taking out the garbage from the bins in front of the entrance. Vasya thought that he had to have time to clean the toilet, because in the evening there would certainly be an influx. Vasya thought that in the shower it would be nice to ask to change the curtain, apparently, somewhere in it there was a hole through which water splashed onto the floor. Vasya munched on an “ad-burger” and washed it down with cola, fully accepting his new social role.

The trial week for Vasya took a whole century. On the very first day, it seemed to him that respect, philanthropy, freedom - all this exists somewhere in another galaxy. Firstly, when Vasya's mobile phone rang, everyone in the restaurant fell silent. And then Meng, angry as hell, approached Vasya and said that in the MorDorald chain of eateries, family comes first, and then work. Therefore, each employee has the right to call home twice a day. Moreover, the older Meng has mobile phones, they must be handed over upon arrival at work. Secondly, some ragamuffin complained about Vasya, who called Meng and said that the type of toilet paper had changed in the toilet, and the soap had run out in the shower. Meng yelled at Vasya, gave him the correct toilet paper, and in front of everyone urged him not to steal this valuable product. Thirdly, Vasya did not have time. He went out to clean the hall, as a heart-rending cry was immediately heard, meat or potatoes were dropped, spilled, trampled, destroyed. Vasya never suspected that there was such a terrible anthill behind the Mordorald checkout line. Everyone ran like crazy, but in all these races there was a strict system in which Vasya's Uber took the very last place. But if you look from On the other hand, Vasya's place was first. During a fifteen-minute lunch, Vasya thought that if it were not for the Ubers, the Cashiers, Maines, Grills, Karts and Escaels would have drowned in the garbage. Vasya was chewing on an “ad-burger” and washing it down with cola, thinking about taking out the trash from the bins in front of the entrance. Vasya thought that he had to have time to clean the toilet, because in the evening there would certainly be an influx. Vasya thought that in the shower it would be nice to ask to change the curtain, apparently, somewhere in it there was a hole through which water splashed onto the floor. Vasya chewed on an “ad-burger” and washed it down with cola, fully accepting his new social role.

Vasya took off and ran behind the checkout line, where a chic creamy cocktail was waiting for him, spilled near the entrance to the warehouse.

In the evening, when Vasya, dressed in a civilian suit, was about to leave, Maine approached him.

- Vasya, if you want to stay at this place, then you need to be faster. Uber is supposed to be efficient, the most efficient employee. I really didn't like the complaint about you from our client about the soap. I didn't like that you drank two colas at lunchtime, that's not encouraged. Research shows that one is enough. I just checked the toilet - it's dirty. You didn't wash everywhere. And you didn't clean the inside of the toilet, which is totally unacceptable. The shower had water on the floor and ran out of soap. You misused wet and dry mops. Therefore, I am compelled to make you a suggestion for the first time. The second time there will be a fine. Well, the third time we just part. Do you understand, Uber!?

Vasya mumbled something, but Meng interrupted him.

- Then, as far as you know, we pay our employees wages daily. Since today is your first part-time job and you have one verbal warning, instead of a hundred mordorics you will get fifty.

- Yes, this is our internal currency. One mordorik is six rubles six kopecks. Accordingly, you will receive a little more than three hundred rubles today. Questions?

Vasya thought that making money on the phone here is an art. He went with Meng to the main office of the restaurant, received the money, put all the necessary signatures, and finally ended up on the street. It was light outside. People were walking. Cars drove. No one shouted “Uber, uber, uber!”. Vasya looked at the magical, mysterious world and thought about how beautiful, kind and cozy it is. Vasya was walking to the subway, and he didn't even have a thought to take out his iPhone and play with it. In Vasya's head there was a pleasant emptiness and anger at Maine, who, despite the hellish work, still has the audacity to yell, fine and joke. Vasya was offended. However, he was firmly convinced that he would pass the Test week with honor. And it will become the most valuable employee.

…- So, you are Uber. You are the very last step. But, if you look from the other side, then you are the first step. You create comfort and cleanliness in the MorDorald restaurant. Thanks to you, our free toilet and shower is a pleasure to spend time in. So, Uber, you're doing a very responsible job. And the first thing I'll tell you about is your mobile phone. Give it to me. Family comes first for us, so twice a day you can contact your relatives, but the rest of the time I will have your phone ...

So Man Vasya instructed Uber Alexei. Six months have passed since he first entered the checkout line.